Fell on Bad Days

 I am not very creative. I stole from Ernest Hemingway and Henry Rollins for the last blog entry title. This time I steal from Soundgarden.

Breaking up from Julie DOES hurt after all. Big empty spot in my life now, which I vowed I would not attempt to fill until after Lent (Orthodox Lent ends later than Catholic/Protestant Lent.) I actually felt pain a few times when left alone to ruminate on it without any company to distract me. The person I was telling everything to suddenly wasn't there. Boy, that smarts!

Custody battle took on a new level of hostility with the addition of an expensive lawyer representing my ex who is adept at painting the opposing side as villainous. A petition containing many exaggerated and outright false claims that I am neglectful and abusive of my children has been filed. "Blessed are you when (wo)men shall revile you and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely for My sake..." That part of the Beatitudes sums things up fairly aptly.

This twin terror of events has darkened my life considerably. It weighs heavily on my heart. I long for better days. 

Out with the sloth, lust for power, vain talk... in with chastity humility patience and love, to the best of my limited ability. I have to try my best. Really, what choice do I have?

Another Chapter or The End of Something

A lot has happened since I last posted. 

I switched shifts to nights. I continued to cycle to work regularly, making, but not recording, observations of the motorists surrounding me and their behavior.

I got petitioned to give up custody of my kids simply because they allegedly voice a preference to remain with their mother. That fight is ongoing.

Most significantly, I watched a relationship take its course.  I met a woman, fell in love. It was the best time I had probably in my lifetime. It grew old. I could not sustain it to her liking. Now she is leaving. She was not specific in her reasons for doing so. I do not know how sad I will be. It is too early to tell. I like to think the hostile divorce I weathered has toughened me and made me resistant to the hurt which accompanies these break ups. Has it?

The mundane tasks which hold my household together remain, and will keep me busy through this. 

I work hard. I pray hard. I hope for the best. I take what life gives me. And that is all I can do.

Dec Jan 2018 commuting observations

Motorists continue their mixed bag conduct on the state highway I frequent on the way to work by bicycle.

I did get some unintelligible utterances from an open car window one cold night with temps in the mid teens. Those people are crazy. They underdress, hop in a car, then open a window and get brutal wind chill in their fragile, flabby faces, in order to yell something they think is clever at yours truly, who won't hear them, because the wind is in my ears as I cycle at 15-20mph.

I also notice, on this 4 lane highway with at grade intersections, traversing a few miles of rural territory, that drivers are susceptible to the influence of the mob around them.

If one driver elects to not give me 3 feet leeway, and crowds the white shoulder line as if I am not there, it is likely that the next several drivers following behind will also crowd me.

Conversely, if a driver exercises courtesy and moves a few feet left, or changes to the passing lane completely, to give me space, the next several drivers following will do likewise.

I still look forward to days where it is considered more sane to cycle in cold weather than it is to burn fossil fuels by the billions of gallons, exacting a punitive toll on the ice caps, corals, islands, continental weather, and ocean pH.

That day may not come in my lifetime. So, I soldier on...

Night riding... finally some action.

I've been cycling a 6 mile route to work regularly now. I have had no run-ins with motorists for many months. Until now...

This blog was started so I could recount incidents with belligerent motorists. It's sort of lost that purpose. A divorce and subsequent move dramatically changed where and when I biked. My new route is significantly more peaceful than the old route. Fewer lights, wider shoulders, and different times of commuting really made a difference.

Tonight, however... different story. It was dark. I was biking with my bright LED's on. And someone slowed down and took a few seconds to launch into some verbal tirade against me. At 20+ mph, with the wind howling in my ears, I really could not understand a word. I didn't even dignify my detractor with even the slightest turn of my head in his (it's always a 'he') direction.

Perhaps the chances of a run-in have increased with the detour, due to the repaving of the nearby interstate, which redirects a considerable volume of cars & trucks onto my normally peaceful byway to my job.

So, yes, assholes do still exist. They assuredly come cheap, a dime a dozen. Precious few insinuate themselves into my little cycling world lately, though...

Warmth, and Coldness

I slightly increased my cycling frequency to commuting 4-5 times a week. I put the old bicycle through its paces. We had a very mild winter. The cycling was rather easy to do. I rewarded myself with a new bicycle in December 2016. I just now sold the old bicycle to an enthusiast who lives down the street from me in Riverside. That makes 2 bicycles and a rug cleaner I sold on Craigslist in the past month.

The motorists are, well, motorists. I occasionally get close shaves from drivers unwilling to give me 3 feet of space on the open road. But, I have heard no angry horns or voices lately.

Big change in the weather precludes me from testing out the new bicycle on the open road. A foot of snow and high winds, coupled with unseasonably cold temperatures have shelved my cycling for now.

Another factor is that I found a woman I knew as a child last fall. We hit it off, eventually started dating, and now spend significant amounts of time with each other. Sometimes I am at her place in Elmira, sometimes she joins me in 14830. This lends itself to more driving and less cycling. This development brightens my outlook and increases my happiness significantly. I am lucky to have stumbled across her!

Happy Cycling!

Moving On

I have settled into a routine. One week with the kids as a single parent, but no work. One week working 10.5 hr days.


I cycle to work with my 5+ year old bike a couple times a week on average. Work is steady, and secure. For now.


Drivers and passengers pretty much ignore me now. The wide open 6 mile commute gives everyone way more space than the old shoulder-to-shoulder, traffic-signal-saturated confines of Pulteney St to Denison Pkwy. No one is frustrated enough to roll a window down and yell or throw things at me.


Money is good. Favorable divorce judgement is the big factor there.


I work out like a fiend. 5 days a week. Weights. Rowing. Swimming. Keeps me sane in an insane world which seems bent on destroying what's left of our natural resources for personal pleasure and consumption.


Keeping away from women now. From what I see it is highly unlikely I can find someone who'll put up with me and I, her, for the long term.


I enjoy the interactions with my kids. Just completed a vacation to Virginia Beach - Busch Gardens - Chincoteague Island. It had its ups and downs. Saw old friends and relatives on the way.


Summer was dry until mid August, then the floodgates opened. What was looking to be a meager harvest turned suddenly bountiful. I have more vegetables than I can handle now! Plants did a wonderful job bouncing back and overcoming adverse conditions.


I need to follow the plants' example.

The End - I'm Free!

Last week the final judgement on my divorce trial was handed down. It gave me far more than I was asking for in negotiations. It was exceedingly fair.

The judge, a woman, saw through my wife's accusations, and applied impartial, if imperfect, NY law in resolving our dispute.

Rather than every other weekend, I now will be seeing my kids alternate weeks, the custody status shifting from primary (mother) to joint custody. This triggers child support payments from my ex wife, whose income is 3 times mine, to me.

An inheritance from my grandfather, which in negotiations was to be split, is now 100% mine. I am also to receive a lump sum payment from my ex, equalizing our retirement plans.

As the divorce final trial date neared, women began to crawl out of the wood work to flirt with me. I now have a new girlfriend, younger, prettier than my now bitter ex!

To get to court, I biked 6 miles in the rain from work to home before hopping in my car to complete the remaining 20 miles to the courthouse.

Seems appropriate, since biking and commuting are my stated themes for this blog.

The drivers were courteous that day....