Charting the Future

 So, I rejiggered my tax withholdings on my pay, and as a result my take home is about 20% smaller than it was before the whole support court campaign. The minor pain now will help avoid major pain when it is time to file tax returns in 2026. I had cash savings locked up in CDs which matured last spring. That is now consolidated into a larger money market account. I can take the dividend from that money market and use it as spending money to take the stress off my paycheck, which can be used to pay bills and child support now. It isn't exactly prospering, but it is effective survival.

My dreams seem to put the theme out that I am inadequate to my children, my ex. Several dreams put me at West Point. One had me as a new plebe working through their basic training, attempting to get in contact with my daughter who attends there. One had me conferring with senior officers and NCOs, again apparently trying to gain an audience with my daughter. In real life she doesn't answer my texts. Not sure why. She is cordial when I do get rare time with her. She's had a lot of temporal success in life, and the resulting attention seems to have drawn her away from her family to the ephemeral attentions of her transient admirers, none of whom she has known very long. She is in the process of gaining wisdom, which I hope will lead her back to those who love her and away from those who seek to use her. A real nightmare happened in my sleeping head recently with my son with a horrible abdominal wound, exposing intestines, was with me trying to gain medical treatment at a crowded hospital med/surg ward where I was trying to get him directly admitted. The wound was bleeding lightly, but exposing his intestines. I had to take a number, like in a deli, and wait for service for him. His mother appeared, telling me I wasn't "good enough." I exploded at her, excoriating her for sitting on the sidelines criticizing while I was out there taking action to save our son. The argument was tense enough to wake me up at that point.

June was rainy. July started out hot and dry. Put in the garden about June 10th. It's growing well, albeit delayed because of the late start. Corn is already producing its tassels. Should be a decent harvest.

Plenty of commute biking through the dry weather. Asshole threw a firecracker at me on July 4th, but other than that things are calm. The new rear derailleur is functioning well, and I can bike faster because of it.

I am sticking with my current girlfriend, but I am not without temptations. A Pakistani woman passed through the lab, who I found interesting. A technical writer living outside Ithaca super swiped me on Bumble. As always, I have the exceptionally attractive Rochester connection. What are the benefits of casting aside what I have cultivated, in favor of an unknown prospect?

Decisions...